Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
