Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
no you cant smoke seaweed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
