his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
