Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
