I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize