i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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