oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
