Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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