What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
