Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
