he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
