I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
