You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
