Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
