Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
