Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
