He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
