He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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