wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
