my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
there is puke in my bra ... again
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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