I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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