Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
