I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
