i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
