Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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