My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
