you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
