How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
