All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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