Having a random hookup so left but love u
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
