well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
