I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
