You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
