Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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