Do vagina's smell?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
