Its about making memories worth repressing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
