Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm passing your future prison.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Randomize
