This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
