I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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