I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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