The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
