Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
