Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
