ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
