Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
