I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
