1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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