STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
