Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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