he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
