just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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