She went from zero to smokin in five shots
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize