i barfeds in our rink
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
