she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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