that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize