your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
