The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
