sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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