I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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