he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
