a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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