Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
