I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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