I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize