Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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