The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
