Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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